The leaves have been falling on the ground for several weeks now. We took a drive through the country side a couple days ago and I wanted to catch my breath at the sight of beautiful reds and golds and yellows on the trees – I know they will not last long. Winter is coming. (Only GOT fans will fully appreciate that sentence!)
Autumn is a time of change. It is easy to feel sad as we watch the beauty of Spring and Summer fade, as the luscious green leaves fade and whither. Just talking about it makes me sort of depressed! But even in all the doom and gloom and the coldness, there are moments of beauty. One of the most beautiful things about Autumn is that we have a chance to look at our lives over the year, we have a chance to review the choices we have made.
As I look at my life over the past year it is one filled with falling. I fell time and time again as a mother. I can not count how many times I wished I could just leave my children with someone else and run away. I am not saying for a couple hours or even an evening out with my husband, but for a week, for a month, for forever. In the beautiful chaos that my children are and in my attempt to control life in my house, I took their youthful spirits for granted. It is easy to do in a world where we are surrounded by our drive for more stuff, in a world where we are disconnected from nature and the harmony that Terra, the Earth, can bring. But as we celebrate the first year in our house, I am looking forward to all the wonderful plans we have for our house and our home. We are focusing on making our home truly child-friendly, on de-cluttering, on simplifying things in our house and in our lives. We are taking the time to build a semblance of a schedule for ourselves while balancing it with moments of spontaneity. We have incredible plans for our rather small back yard and hopefully in raising gardens next year we will learn many wisdoms when it comes to raising our children!
As the leaves are falling off the trees, I will strive to remember that falling is not always bad. Falling gives us the ability to go back to where we began and decide whether we liked where we were going. Sometimes where we were going was not a good place, in which case we are given the time to correct our course and become better. As difficult as falling is, it reminds me of the life of a Phoenix, an exceptionally gorgeous mythological creature – birth, death through flame, ash falling onto the ground, rebirth. Perhaps part of falling as an adult is an invitation to embrace youthfulness again? I marvel at the fascination and joy my children have when it comes to seeing ladybugs at the park, or picking up leaves and admiring their colors. How I wish I knew what was going on in their minds! I feel like I get tiny glimpses here and there between kissing and hugging away all the boo-boos they receive from falling on the ground. My heart is given the chance to be reborn and become childlike again as I let the hours slip away with my children.
Before the Autumn passes us by, I hope we can all rake up the leaves in our yard and fall into them and enjoy their crisp scent! I hope even more so that I can take the time to sweep all the cobwebs from my life and fall into a new year filled with the promise of being better, of giving me a chance to redirect my path, of allowing me to embrace all the times I have fallen this year. May we all take time to embrace the fall.